Here come the night time cravings like i warned you about earlier!! Dum DUM duM

like i said, the boyfriend came home and automatically!! I WANTED TO EAT!

i went for healthy food like some steamed veggies. but after he left.... i went for the carbs! luckily it was just a couple triscuits. i drank my entire 2.2L bottle of watter and headed to the bathroom to rid all that i could. of corse after 2 years of bulimia, my gag reflexes arent as shard and sensitive as they use to be!! so i could only get about 100 calories up. guess it looks like the rest of my night will be spent guzzling as much water as i can and an entire work out to speed the process of digestion. my stomach is STILL growling so i THINK thats a good thing. but then again it could just be the starvation mode that i DID put it in today. so because it finally got some food in its stomach.... its craving more because it doesnt know when the next time will be that it gets some more food.

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needless to say, though, Lyle loved the way the house looked. he was very excited that we have officially finished the unpacking process of our move. <Even though it DID take a month and a half to finally finish doing.... but it was just the hanging and putting away of all the clothes that we own lol>

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well.... im off to work out and guzzle massive amounts of water. i AM happy to say that my entire calorie consumption for the day has been about... mmmm.... i would say....350 cal. compared to my previous days of over 2,000 cals. so this.... my friend..... is perfect. its still ALOT more calories than i use to consume... but its way better than the past two months. BUT IM NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT ANYMORE!! THOSE TWO MONTHS NEVER HAPPENED!!    lol 

ill know how well im doing in about two days when i weigh in again. ill still probably weigh myself tomorrow for the heck of it and just out of curiosity. but ive never really been able to really start seeing the numbers on the scale drop till ive been continually eating almost nothing for a couple days.

i just have to remember to keep my daily consumptions to a minimal.... NEVER eat anything after 6 pm!!  and keep it to foods and portion sizes now that i wont regret or that will get in the way of my progress because its extremely hard to get rid of the foods now a days. i guess ana is now my new bestfriend. sorry mia. but i still love you. you got me started and now ana will carry me the rest of the way!

skinnier ME!!   Here i come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!       

its about 3:53PM now on January 4th, 2007!!

Im sticking to my last blog that i posted this morning

oh wait hold on... BRB

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OK! im back.

like i said, im still sticking strong to my last post this morning. i dont really have any urge to eat anything. ive been cleaning my house non stop. i dont think there is any hint of dirt left ha ha. this is such a great way to make time go by, not be board, and to stay out of the kitchen and away from food. if youre like me.... you eat when youre board, have nothing to do, are feeling bad about your self, or see something tasty on TV and want a bite of it as well lol.

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for a bit of inspiration, ive had my TV down stairs lock on channel 62 VH1. WHY? because there is an 81 hour MEGA marathon for Americas Next Top Model!! first of all, i love the show. second, it doesnt show alot of food on it so i dont get hunger crazes when im down stairs doing something. Third, all the girls are skinny and i know that im well on my way to getting back to being as thin as they are. Fourth, i want to be a model and have had offers to sign with Ellite Modeling Manhatten, NY (The number ONE modeling agency in the world as of this very moment) and last but not least... I LOVE THE SHOW and am a HUGE fan of Tyra. She's beautiful!

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so yeah! all ive had to eat was about ten calories worth of sugar free JellO, and three sticks of gum. not really any water cuz its not sounding too yummy right now. but ALOT of coffee. i still have more laundry to do and a little bit more to do around the house. this will keep me busy for the next couple hours.

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I DO know, though, that my boyfriend IS due home in about an hour to an hour and a half from work. i think when he gets home is when the weakness kicks in with the food. probably because im not allowed to have a cigarette (He hates them and would leave me if he knew i smoked) so i cant use them as an appetite surpressant, AND.... i love to cook and bake for him and i KNOW he will be hungry. so when i see him eat.... i wanna eat too. but like i said in my last post... im COMPLETELY forgetting the past two months of eating, and just going back to my old eating habbits. if i was able to deny food before, then i KNOW i can do it again. Starting when he gets home.

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Luckily... he IS going to church almost right after he gets home. this means i will have the house all to myself again and be able to just let time slip trhough my fingers and do my own thing. i AM gonna work out. probably right after i end this entry. *Thank God for on demand's FiT TV and the Girls Next Door's exercise channel* and then probably work out again while lyle's at church and inbetween loads of laundry.

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I never realized how MANY clothes the two of us really have till we just moved and had to put everything away. ya know?? cuz, we live in a pretty big town home. its two stories, two master sized bedrooms with each of their own full baths and walk in closets, and then there is ANOTHER bathroom down stairs. But like... the closet in OUR room is completely over flowing with all of my clothes, shoes, bags, hats, belts, etc.... and i cant even fit all of my things in there. and THEN the second walk in closet is ALSO filled with all of his clothes and stuff!!   but i mean.... one can never have enough though right!? ha ha DEF!

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well...

Ha HA!!  ok so the last time i was on this.... i was saying how i was going to fast. no food... no snacks or soda, no nothing!!  just some good old high quality H2O...

well guess what! the second day of my fast was New Years Eve! thats basically a set up for defeat! wouldnt you agree??

so of corse i broke my fast with some yummy Coors Lites and Pizza.... and then the next couple days after that just kinda of continued to eat how i wanted to.

BUT!! yesterday i was able to feel my hip bones for the first time in a month and it gave me a sense of accomplishment! its almost noon right now, so i think im just going to heat up some veggies and enjoy some TV or a movie.

no i dont think im going to fast...   i just have decided to go back to my old eating habbits when my weight was all the way down to 108 on my 5'9 frame...

this includes:

• SUGAR FREE jello
• veggies
• tons of water
• diet pills (which BTW... if you have any diuretics that worked for you or know of any good ones please share them with me. ive tried a bunch and always find that stacker 2 products and Lipo 6 worked really good. i would take them twice a day and then by the next morning i could see that i have even less fat on me!!)
• lite&Fit yogurt with only 60 cal per cup. (id eat this if there was absolutely nothing else to eat and i couldnt take the hunger pains)

i weighed my self first thing this morning and i was 124..... tomorrow im hoping to be 122 if i do this right. im gonna basically erase the past two months from my memory. everything that ive eaten.... pizza, candy, bread, pastas, soups, chips, dips, soda, etc.....  and act like nothing changed since i weighed 108...   im gonna get back to my bones and i cant wait!  i love the motivation that im feeling!!

and if your like me..... and have the same out look that i have, and even the same goals.... then you probably wake up and have the motivation..... and then when night time comes, you get the cravings. because you think that since you did SO good all day long, that you CAN afford to have what ever you want by the end of the day.

Well the truth is SIMPLE: YOU CANT! if you go all day without eating or just barely eating.... your putting your body into a starvation mode. so by the end of the day when those craving hit.... and you do give in, the fatty foods and sugars that you consume go straight to your hips, theigs, butt, arms, back, ribs, etc. so all that motivation and hard work was just rhrown out the door. PLus... after you do give in, you KNOW that all you feel is guilt!!!!

another good tip that i just thought of that i USE is:  When youre about to eat something.... think about how long it is going to take to digest in your stomach. the average dig. time is about 1-3 days. things like bread, pasta, candy, and other solid foods tend to take up to three days to fully pass. thats THREE DAYS that your body will be pulling fats out of that food and putting them on your and making you FAT!!

but if you stick to things that break up quick... like Sugar Free JellO, veggies after being chewed up massively before swallowed, yogrt, and other liquid based foods could take only a couple hours to digest... therefore your body wont have time to pull anything out of it to store on your body. thus resulting in- a sexier SLIMMER YOU!!  this will make your new years resolution SOOOOO MUCH EASIER!!! ha ha i love it!

you know what... after typing this little/long blog here.... ive lost my appetite and now wanna just go work out..... or just drink some coffee or water and relax. ive been CLeaning my entire house (2STORIES) alllll morning so ive burnt a ton of cal that i never consumed. This means..... weight loss!!  man today is gonna be a GOOD day!!

ill be back in a bit when the next temptation to eat hits. maybe i WILL wait to see how long i can go without eating! this is gonna be so much fun! its like a challenge and im very competitive..... me against food!! who will win??!!   we'll find out soon enough now huh?!

Greeneyez86 OUT!!

Hey Hey! 

ok so, ive been pro ana-mia for two years now. this past month, though, i have severly givin in to all my old eating habbits. nothing but candy and carbs and sugar, and soda, and meats and chips, and ice cream AND.... yeah you get the idea. so my lowest weight on my 5'9 1/2 frame (that i was weighed at) was 108... god that sounds amazing. now.... i weighed my fat ass yesterday and have managed to creep ALLLLL the way up to 124... HOLLY SHIT!!!! at least i havent broken the 130s though. whew..

anyways... i woke up this morning completely disgusted in my entire self. the way i've been thinking, what ive been eating, how ive actually let food control me instead of me control food!! FUCK!! also... the way my body is. i have fat. i jiggle, i HATE IT!!  SO...   this is the plan:

after having done more research and got a butt load of thinspiration from pro ana websites, im begining a fast..  TODAT!!!!  its 2:58PM right now... a little after noon, and i have yet to put anything in my mouth other than AquA...   this is amazing.. it was so hard for me to even say no to any food this past month... but shoot, once i put my mind to it... im still starving! it feel s good.

Also, i will continue this diet for 7 days. allowing my body to go into ketosis, where it survives off of fatty tissue to keep energised. ive sheltered my self off from everything, and thrown out all the food that would make me hungry. ive been sitting on my couch watching movies and playing soltair on my phone. ive come very close to convincing myself to eat... but then i would look at my body and KNOW that i really dont wanna eat. i wanna be bones again damn it!! and i will.... and now that i have this blog... ill be able to put ALL of my thoughts and feelings up for me.

i was gonna write in a journal, but then i thought that if i were to leave that out, my boyfriend would see it and know that i was back to my old ways. and we dont want that now do we?? no....   also.... having this blog online will make me have to walk up stairs to log on... WHICH by the way burns some calories that i have not consumed!! yay!

Starting today... no food... no gum.... nothing with any calorie amount, and even NO DIET SODA.... just water. they say that the third day is always the hardest, and the hunger pains really start to kick in, but thats the day ketosis starts. starvation for three days?? easy! just give me water and cigaretts and im all good! i gotta get back to my bony frame. i cant even go to the store looking like this cuz i know there will be girls thinner than me there! and that thought??   i CANT STAND! time for a smoke break! ill be back eventually!

remember: 7 day fast!! by that day... if i feel i can go longer then ill push for one more week to hit my 14 day mark.... happy new years resolution to me!! ha ha

LW: 108

CW: 124

GW: 110

i wont eat anything till im atleast 115lbs. SO HERE WE GO!!! 

Hey everyone! my name is Kirsten.... i JUST created my account. i made it because i dont know anyone that has an account on here, so its perfect for me to openly address all my issues without causing concern from family and friends, AND to find people just like me for thinspiration!!

If you are just like me... then please message me. im very open to your suggestions and input and tips and tricks. i have a couple up my own sleve as well... have been doing this for two years now, and im not planning on stopping

If you disagree with me, wanna make fun of me, wanna put me down or express your disgust... IM NOT INTERESTED!!  dont even waist your time trying to express your feelings to me. there is no way im looking to stop anytime soon, and your words are only going to be a waist of both yours and my time!! so just skip onto the next profile, THANK YOU!

again, my name is kirsten, im Pro ana-mia and love it. please contact me if you love it too!